Mondays
by Daisukeismyboyfriend
Summary: What DO Furuba characters do during their Mondays? Rated T because I can.
1. Hatori

A Typical Monday for Hatori-san.

Been wanting to write this for a while now. I'm hoping to go through all the major characters…  
Reviews make me happy and smiley. That makes me update more. I'm also a painfully slow typer...

* * *

Hatori plopped onto his overstuffed leather chair, threw his briefcase over to the chaise lounge on the other side of the room, took a sip of his scalding hot coffee, and began to drum his fingers on his desk.

It was a Monday. And Mondays to Shigure and Ayame meant "Let's annoy Hatori."

The doorbell rang and Shigure came in, dressed in purple. " 'Tori-san!" he exclaimed, sitting on the chaise.

"Shigure-san."

"You're not wearing purple!" the dog yelled, jumping to his feet. "Don't you know what day it is?"

"Let's be an Idiot Day?" asked Hatori dryly.

"No! It's PURPLE day. SHAME!!!" And with that remark, Aaya stalked into the room. He was wearing his fur coat from high school, his hair was braided loosely, and he was toting a purple umbrella for some reason- it wasn't raining.

Hatori was less-than-thrilled.

"Tori!" chirped the snake, practically jumping around the room. "You'll NEVER believe what happened yesterday! Momiji…"

The rest of his speech was lost to Hatori, who was busily shifting through Akito's huge medical file. Gradually he became aware that Aaya had stopped talking and was now staring at him intensely. "You think I'm boring, don't you?" Aaya asked, looking pathetically at the floor.

"Sorry…" apologised Hatori, but the snake had already stalked out the door.

Shigure sighed. "Aaya…"

"He's probably gone to find Tohru."

"You're right." The two juunishi lapsed into silence.

Suddenly a window popped up on Hatori's computer screen, accompanied by a jingle that made the two jump. "What the-" yelped Hatori, before looking at the screen.

It was an MSN window that held a single line:

Snake'SKin_: HATORI-SAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!_

Shigure read the screen over Hatori's shoulder and heaved a sigh. "Oh, bananas."

Hatori was busy typing a reply.

Dragondoctor: Aaya. Shut up.

Snake'SKin: _Awww…Tori-saann…_

Dragondoctor: AAYYAAAA!

_(Snake'SKin has signed off.)_

Shigure leaned back on the chaise lounge. "So…?"

"He's probably coming back from the Internet café…"

"TORI-SAN!" yelled the goofy snake, flouncing in like he owned the place. "How COULD you?!"

Hatori sighed. "Go home…Akito's coming at 11 for his appointment."

The authoress walked in and asked, "Is Akito a guy or a girl?"

"Who ARE you?" chorused the three.

"Nnn…? Blake…"

"Wh-" they started, but were cut off by her disappearing into thin air.

Suddenly Kureno ran into the room, panting insanely. "Akito…fell…stairs…bruises…weak lungs…" he managed to spurt, then fell onto the (now overcrowded) chaise lounge.

"Oh, great," inthused Aaya, heaving a huge depressed sigh. "Kureno's passed out, and now he's sweating all over my boots."

"The HORROR…" replied Hatori, rolling his eyes and grabbing his briefcase. "Come on, we've gotta go help Akito."

"Fish sticks!" shrieked Shigure, grabbing Aaya's umbrella and running after him. Hatori had no choice but to run after him.

They got to the main house and were hurriedly guided towards the steps, which were covered with a thick frosting of people. (Mmm…frosting.)

\Hatori jostled through and saw Akito on the ground, barely breathing. "Move out of the WAY!" he yelled, then carefully lifted the "god's" small, light frame.

As the three (and Akito, so I guess that's four…) ran back to the office, Haru began jogging beside them. "Yo," he said to Shigure, who jumped. "Whassup?"

"Eh?!" said the utterly confuzzled dog.

"Nevermind," replied Haru, who'd just glimpsed Akito on Hatori's shoulder.

They burst into the office, shoved Kureno off of the chaise lounge, laid Akito down, then Hatori went off to get some fancy medical supplies.

Aaya and Shigure sat on the floor gasping for breath. "What?" asked Haru, reading a medical chart on the wall.

"How(gasp) can you (pant) be so (huff) ENERGETIC?!?" the two asked insanely.

"I actually have endurance. Unlike you all."

-i-c-a-m-e-b-y-c-a-r-c-o-m-f-o-r-t-a-b-l-y-a-n-d-i-n-v-i-n-c-i-b-l-y-

Ritsu knew he had to go to Hatori. It was only a matter of time before he went-gulp- spastic again, so he had to get Hatori to calm him down.

He stood on the street corner next to the office, resplendent in a kimono (he still couldn't dress normally) and some traditional sandals. He took a deep breath, steeled himself for the ordeal to come, then timidly walked over to the door, reached out a hand and opened it- and was met with a scene of absolute chaos.

Haru had gone "black" and was now attempting to kill Shigure while being pinned to the floor by an irate Aaya. Akito had an IV in and was rapidly becoming more conscious. Hatori was thwacking things with his stethoscope, trying to get some attention…and Kureno was still passed out on the floor.

All this was too much for our spastic cross-dresser Ritsu, who promptly exploded. "GOMEN NAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! I SHOUGD NEVER HAVE GONE TO HATORI'S OFFICE BECAUSE I WAS FEELING SPASTIC AND I ANGERED HARU AND AKITO IS NOW ASHAMED OF MY PRESSSSSSSSSENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SORRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

There was a shocked silence.

"Wow," said Haru, "black"-ness forgotten. "That was…wow…spastic…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! GOOMEN NA-" the monkey's budding rampage was cut off by Shigure poking him in the side with a scale model of a femur.

Ritsu deflated as Shigure stood over him and shouted triumphantly, "I FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!"

Kureno gave a little groan beside the chaise lounge, but no one cared.

Hatori finally found his tongue depressors, and a tiny flashlight. He pried Akito's mouth open and checked if his airway was clear. After a minute, he sighed in relief and said, "He's fine."

"Great," said Hatsuharu, sarcastic.

Hatori shot a glance at him and the ox shut up. "I'm going to bring him back to the main house. Don't destroy my office."

-w-h-e-n-s-n-o-w-m-e-l-t-s-i-t-b-e-c-o-m-e-s-s-p-r-i-n-g-

Yuki was annoyed and sick, but mostly annoyed, seeing as Shigure had sent both him AND Kyo to Hatori's office. Together. In a group. The cat and rat were both barely suppressing their tempers, and the scene that met them as they walked into the office did nothing to help.

Haru was singing "Hakuna Mattata" with Aaya at the top of his lungs, and the snake was embroidering Shigure's kimono with the words, "I got this from Ayame: Value from the Heart. Be jealous." Ritsu was drinking a bottle of sake with Shigure on his feet, curled up in dog form. And Kureno was…passed out. Still.

"Oh, god…" exclaimed Yuki, cringing.

"What the _beep_ happened here?" asked Kyo, his cat ears erect.

"Oh. Hi." said Haru, fixing Yuki's collar.

"KYONKISHI!!!!!!!!"

Bristle. Cat ears. "Don't CALL me that!!!"

Shigure trotted over to Kyo and wagged his tail. "Hey."

Kyo bristled. "SHIGURE!!!"

"What?" asked the dog, looking about as cute as anyone could stand.

"NEVERMIND!" yelled Kyo, stomping over to the chaise lounge and sitting on top of Aaya.

"Mmph," Aaya grunted, which made Kyo realize he was sitting on top of a sentient being.

Hatori walked in, saw the extra people, groaned, and plopped into his chair. "WHAT?" he asked, grabbing everyone's attention, even the very tipsy Ritsu in the corner who was forcefeeding sake to Kureno.

"What what?" asked Aaya cutely. He grabbed the bottle of sake from Ritsu and drank the last of it. He belched loudly. "Scuse me."

Ritsu began to cry.

"What are all you guys doing here?!?"

"Where?"

"IN MY OFFICE!" Ritsu, who was still spastic, even though he was drunk, began warbling apologies until Haru presented him with an appletini, which he slurped happily.

"We're nurturing family togetherness." explained Shigure, poofing back into human form and grabbing his kimono from Aaya.

Haru started dancing to his iPod music. A closer look revealed that he was listening to Justin Timberlake. And just when you readers thought it couldn't get any worse…

Haru sang along.

Haru had always been a horrible singer, ever since he was a tiny mewling of a juunishi.

"I can't wait to fall in loooooooooove…with you!"

Aaya shrieked in pain. Shigure dove under Hatori's desk.

"You can't wait to fall in llllllloooooooooooooooooooooove… with me!"

Kureno and Ritsu re-passed out simultaneously.

"This just can't be summer loooooooooooooooooove…you see!"

Kyo and Yuki ran out of the office, shrieking hysterically.

"Am I really that bad?" asked Haru.

"YES!!!!!!!"

-t-h-e-r-e-m-u-s-t-b-e-a-w-a-t-e-r-m-e-l-o-n-s-m-a-s-h-i-n-g-t-o-u-r-n-a-m-e-n-t-

Momiji was always slightly bouncy and adventurous, being the rabbit. So when he saw Yuki and Kyo running out of Hatori's office like they were cursed, he knew that that was where he had to go.

"YAY!" he yelled, bursting into the overcrowded room.

A groan answered his peppy arrival. Shigure, Aaya, Kureno, and Ritsu were all tipsy, leaning on each other like bowling pins, Haru was dancing his heart out, and Hatori looked like he might cry.

"What happened here?" he asked, his eyes as round as bowling balls. "It looks like a bomb went off!"

Shigure attempted to lean on Momiji's shoulder, but missed and ended up smacking Ritsu, who'd finished his oh-so-yummy appletini. "Have some sake," he encouraged.

"Okay!" enthused Momiji, taking the proffered bottle.

15 minutes later, everyone except Hatori and Haru (who was still dancing) was either passed out or smashed.

"Woo…" slurred Aaya, leaning heavily on Kureno. "Kure- kuuuuuuunnn…you're my greatest idollll…….."

"Aw!" chirped Shigure. "Come on Momiji, give us a hug…" The tipsy rabbit crawled over to Shigure and managed a kind of half-hug.

"J'aimerais…tu…" he mumbled, eyes crossed. "Bleeaaahhhh…"

Ritsu was babbling randomly to thin air, insisting that he wasn't drunk and his name was Bobbinies. "No, really…" he slurred, his hair in a mess. "Ya know, appletinis are reeeeaaaaaaaaalllly yummy…." He trailed off, putting his head in Kureno's lap and falling asleep.

Hatori was rapidly getting a headache. He turned off his laptop and grabbed the bottle of sake from the sideboard. "No sense in wasting good liquor," he remarked, downing the bottle.

-r-a-n-d-o-m-n-e-s-s-

It's not much of a surprise why Hatori hates Tuesdays too.

Hangovers.

* * *

Ta-daaaa! I can see your hits! Review or I will eat your alpacas! RAWR!!!!  
"You will eat a muffin! And you're going to LIKE it!"

-blake


	2. Yuki

Mondays Chappie 2…  
Yuki's turn for torture! Muahahaha!  
Thanks for reviews. I bow.

* * *

Yuki sat up in bed. He wasn't awake yet, just sitting there. He knew it was a Monday, from the black aura that heralded another week of fangirls goggling at him. "Hnn…school." 

He looked over at his Pokemon alarm clock, groggily registering the yellow-green numbers that read 7:30. He was going to be late.

He got up, dressed, brushed his grey-blue hair, grabbed his bag, and went downstairs to the kitchen, where Tohru was making some eggs. "Ohiyo, Sohma-kun!" she chirped, setting a plate of white-and-yellow mush in front of him.

Yuki stared at the faintly jiggling mass until he was convinced that it wasn't still alive. Tentitively he took a wobbly lump with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth.

He chewed. Nothing happened. He deemed the mass safe and ate the rest.

Kyo stormed in, took one look at the mush and stormed out.

"Kyo! Come back here!" yelled Shigure, stomping around in Hatori's 200,000 yen suit after the irate cat. "They're just eggs!"

"So?"

"EAT THEM!"

So Kyo stormed back again, vacuumed the eggs into his mouth, grabbed his bag, and stormed out the door.

Yuki, being more of a gentlemanly gentleman, waited for Tohru before setting off for school.

"YUN-YUNNNNNN!!!!" yelled Kakeru Manabe, running up to the (now shocked) pair and jumping around insanely. "I'm your VP reporting for DOOOOOOOOTY!!!!"

"Manabe…can you be a little quieter?" inquired Yuki, mentally cringing in agony.

"Sure, Yun-yun!" Manabe yelled, then ran off to annoy some other random people.

But Yuki's annoying day wasn't over yet.

In first period, Michan-san (Shigure's editor) ran into his class with an X-acto knife and a suicide note. She was then escorted to the school psychologist. By third period, 20- some girls had tried to hug him…and had failed. Now it was lunchtime, and Yuki was thoroughly irked.

The roof was crammed full of people by now, with Yuki, Tohru, Kyo, Haru, and Momiji all sitting around, eating.

"What's wrong, Yuki?" asked Momiji, in the middle of his strawberry lollipop.

"…Fangirls." Yuki managed to mutter.

Haru slung an arm around Yuki's shoulders. "Hey, don't worry," he drawled. "If any of them really annoy you, I'll just turn Black and beat the crap outta them."

"It's…okay, Haru. I'll live," answered Yuki, his mind conjuring up images of screaming fangirls running away from a demonic Haru.

**-s-o-r-t-a -c-i-n-d-e-r-e-l-l-a-**

School couldn't be over fast enough for Yuki. When the last bell rang, he sighed with relief and walked out of the halls…

To be met by the last person he wanted to see.

Not Akito, but Ayame, the oh-so-bubbly snake.

"YUUUUUKKKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, smushing his little brother into a hug. "How ARE you?!"

Yuki attempted to say something along the lines of "I can't breathe," but instead came out with a muffled "MMMpppphhhhh!!!"

"Oh, dear Yuki! You seem to be turning blue! How very interesting!" yelped Aaya, letting go.

"Go away."

Aaya gasped. "Shame on you for being so very rude to your kind and loving older brother, who bestows upon you innumerable blessings that make you the amazing person you are! I have to tell Hatori!"

Kyo appeared from behind a bush, and Aaya had found a new target. "Kyonkichi!"

Bristle. Cat ears. "Don't effing CALL me that!"

"But Kyonkitchi"- more bristle, manga vein- "is such a graceful name!"

"I. Don't. Care."

Suddenly, Hatori's car swerved up to the sidewalk. Shigure stuck his head out of the window and beamed. "Yo!"

"What the-"

"Kyo!" Whack.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Sohma-kun! Kyo-kun! Ayame-kun!" exclaimed Tohru, for no apparent reason. "Shiggy-san!"

"Shiggy?"

"Shiggy."

Ritsu walked up to complete the scene with a bag full of tofu.

"Ritsu!" said Haru, walking up. "Whatcha got?"

"…tofu…"

Yuki had had enough of the random talking, so he sauntered home. Hiro was waiting at the door, talking about Mogeta with Kisa. "And THEN the villain- hey, Yuki!"

"Hey."

The trio plodded into the kitchen, kicked off their shoes, then sat down and vegetated for a good hour. "So…" began Hiro, half an onigiri in his hand (and in his mouth). "How was your day?"

Yuki made a "stupid, annoying, and totally irksome" face.

"That bad?"

Nod.

Suddenly Aaya burst straight through the paper door, closely followed by Manabe. "YUN-YUN!!!!" the duo yelled.

Yes, there they were. The two people Yuki disliked the most. Working together. Yuki tried not to let a whimper escape his lips as he quickly hid.

"YES!" yelled Manabe for no apparent reason. He was living his dream, posing triumphantly in his black jumpsuit as Aaya stalked around in a matching green one. "We've found you, Yun-yun!"

The rat in question gritted his teeth, stuffed in a cupboard. If they called him that one more time, he'd have to do something drastic.

Manabe stopped searching. "Crap…where IS he?"

The snake looked under the table, on top of the fridge, and then gave up. "I dunno. Or as you younger folk say, idk."

"Younger folk?"

Yuki sighed. Their voices were getting farther and farther away. He carefully eased himself out of the cupboard, grabbed his gardening gloves, and went outside to pick leeks and peas.

-t-s-u-b-a-s-a-n-a-r-e-

Rin found herself walking to Shigure's house for no apparent reason. Today had been a bad day for her, but she didn't complain- she'd had much worse.

The door was open, so she let herself in. "Gure? Haru? Yuki? Kyo? Tohru?"

A rather dishevelled and messy Yuki strode in. "Rin?"

"Yeah."

Kyo walked in, a manga vein on his forehead and Kagura on his arm.

"Oh Kyooooo…I looooove yooouuuuuu…"

Cat ears. Bristle. "Shaddup!"

Kagura rammed the cat into the wall and began punching him. "DON'T EVER TELL A LADY TO SHUT…UP!!!" she yelled.

Aaya came in, stole Yuki's uniform, and sneaked out.

Rin still didn't know why she was there, so she found a needle and thread and began repairing the raunchy holes in her skirt.

Shigure and Ritsu walked in, yelling about something. Suddenly Shigure poked Ritsu in the side and yelled "NINJA THWACK!!!!!!"

Ritsu deflated.

Shigure cackled insanely.

Silence.

"What?"

Silence.

"WHAT?!?!"

Silence.

Shigure began to cry.

-b-o-b-b-o-b-o-b-o-b-b-o-b-

So the end of Yuki's Monday had come at last. He sat on his bed, reading the gardening book that Tohru had given him, but his mind was on something totally unrelated.

If this was his Monday, he didn't want to know how bad his Tuesday was going to be.

* * *

Who next? Give me ideas, I want to try and do Ritsu eventually.

-blake/ daisukeismyboyfriend-


	3. Ayame

Aaya's Monday!

Finally I'm updating! It's been a while since I've updated this story, so I'll give you an extra-awesome chapter for your patience.

-h-o-o-t-o-o-s-o-f-d-o-o-m-

_Beeeeeep._

A pale hand snaked out from between the bedsheets and smacked the sleep button repeatedly. "Ugh," Ayame, the owner of the hand, sighed tiredly. "Seven already? I must be getting old."

He tried without success to go back to bed, gave up ten minutes later, and hauled himself out of his fabric cocoon to the bathroom. He splooshed some cold water on his face, then looked up at the mirror, blinking doggedly. "Hmmmm…" he mumbled, iridescent greenish-yellow eyes looking back at him.

He picked out a reasonably fantastic robe from his expansive closet, fixed his hair in a tight ponytail, then set out to his shop, where Mine was waiting.

"Aaya-san!" she chirped happily, opening the door as Ayame swept in gracefully.

"My dear Mine-kun. How are you this fine morning that the gods have blessed with the sun's presence?"

"Fine, sir!"

"Great. Now, _mon cherie_, let us begin to design our wares!"

The dynamic duo rolled out bolts of cloth and half-sewn dresses pinned on mannequins. With the accompaniment of a pot of tea, they began to work, stopping occasionally to help their customers.

Aaya's cell phone rang. "Hello, Ayame Sohma, purveyor of all amazing costumes and fantastic fabrics speaking!"

"Haru's gone Black again."

"Oh, my dear Yuki! Has he destroyed anything? Oh, what shall I do to free _mon petit frere _from such a HORRIBLE person!?!"

"Bring me…" Yuki cringed, knowing that his next statement would be told to Shigure, Hatori, and any other member of the zodiac unlucky enough to run into Aaya. "Bring me…a dress."

Aaya gasped dramatically. "Yuki! Are you…"

"No."

"Okay. Good. Then I shall be coming forthwith to ease my dear brother's pain and aid him in his quest of taming the evil Hatsuharu!!" And with that flamboyant statement, Aaya was off.

-h-a-r-u-w-a-s-o-k-o-n-i-k-i-t-e-i-t-a-

"Zark off, you scuzzball!" yelled Kyo, jumping away from one of Haru's back kicks.

"Um, no. How about I win, and you run off with your little tail between your legs, you pathetic excuse for a kitten!" Haru taunted, spinning around.

"RAWR!!!"

Ayame ran up, the precious dress in a dry-cleaners bag. "YUKI!"

"Thanks." the rat replied, taking the proffered bundle and changing into the dress behind a bush.

Kyo thwacked Haru with a hard roundhouse kick that sent the cow on his butt. "Ow."

"Ha! There's more where that came from!"

And that's when Yuki walked out from behind the bush. "Haru…"

All the boys in the surrounding area got nosebleeds. All the girls in the surrounding area fainted from delight.

Haru was struck speechless. "Yu- Yu-Yuki?"

The dress Ayame had picked out was a pink and white bridal-style gown, complete with faux silk roses and frills galore. It also featured a fitted corset that squished Yuki until he had difficulty breathing. "Owwww…" he whimpered among the bows and ruffles.

Haru had a nosebleed now, along with most of the fanboys.

"Wow." breathed Kyo, acting very OOC even though he wasn't supposed to.

"YUKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!!!!" yelled the snake, snapping picture after picture with a camera in each hand.

"Get me out of this dress."

"B-but…"

"Butts? Where?"

"Zark off, Manabe!"

"I mean it, Aaya!"

"You look so fantastically beautiful!"

Sweatdrop. "Um…that's not a good thing. Put it on Kyo if you must."

"No. No effing way am I gonna wear that."

"Pease?!"

"No."

So Aaya took the dress off of Yuki and ran back to the shop with his cameras. "MINE-KUUUUUN!!!!!!"

"Hai!"

"Checkitout. Pictures of our beloved Yuki-san wearing the finest dress that fitted him!"

"He looks GORGEOUS!" yelled Mine, jumping on a couch.

"I know." Suddenly a tiny buzzer rang. "Oh," Aaya mumbled, turning his watch alarm off. "It's time for me to go help Shi-san move some books. I'll be back soon, Mine!"

"Seeya, boss!"

-d-i-n-o-s-a-u-r-s-k-i-c-k-b-u-t-t-

"High school girls…high school girls, live in person high school girls…" sang Shigure, balancing on a chair with a book in each hand.

"Yo!" yipped Aaya, stalking in like he owned the place. "You haven't been cheating on me, my little Shigure…"

"How could I cheat with someone like you, my delicious cream puff?"

"ALL RIGHT!" they chorused, making Tohru spill tofu juice all over the kitchen.

"So what are we doing?" asked the snake, staring at the dozens of empty boxes littered around the house.

"We're moving books," answered Shigure, sliding a small paperback into one of the shelves.

"I see."

"AAYA!!!!!!!!!!!"

"MOMIJI!!!! GUTEN TAG!!!!" Aaya yelled back, squishing the rabbit into a bone-crushing hug. "How ARE you?!"

"I'm okay. Kinda," answered Momiji, extricating himself from the hug. "Ow…"

Aaya gasped. "Did I squish too hard!?!"

"A little."

"I'm sorry!!!"

"It's okay."

Suddenly Tohru tripped in and turned them all into animals. Yes, Yuki and Kyo and Haru were there too. They just didn't talk because Aaya freaked them out too much. Back to the story.

"Crap." swore Kyo, his fur standing on end.

"Momiji!!! Your ears are so soft!!!" yipped Aaya, slithering his way over to Shigure. "Shi- saaan!!"

"What?"

"SHI-SAAAAANNN!!!!!"

"Shut up, nii-san."

Poof.

"EEEP!"

Once the juunishi had gotten their clothes on, Momiji did a dance that made them stare at him for several minutes afterwards.

"Two steeeep…"

"Shut up."

Hatori was called to drag Aaya out of the room, which he did amongst the snake's pathetic cries of "We were having so much fun!!"

"I don't care."

"NOOOOOooooooooooooo…"

-r-u-p-t-u-r-e-d-e-l-e-p-h-a-n-t-s-o-f-d-o-o-m-

Mine folded up the last bit of fabric and surveyed her handiwork proudly. "Hmmm…I think I could add another ruffle here…but it's too much. I'll leave it."

"Mine!!!! I'm BAAACK!!!!" shrieked Ayame, waltzing in blissfully.

"Hey, boss!"

"Didja finish the…" he started, but stopped at the sight of Mine's creation. "Oh. My. Akito."

Mine had created the most amazing dress he'd ever seen. A magnificent train dragged behind it, sparkling with the millions of sequins sewn on the fabric. The sequins made the entire dress look like a glittering snake skin. A red sash cinched the waistline tightly, and around the neckline Mine had painstakingly embroidered a snake.

Aaya was struck speechless for once in his life. "M…m…Mine…That's…marvelous…amazing…"

"It's for you, boss!"

"To wear?!"

Mine grinned. "For you to put on Yuki-kun."

Aaya smiled widely. "I like your sense of humor."

-i-m-u-s-t-p-r-o-c-u-r-e-a-l-i-b-a-t-i-o-n-

Aaya scarfed down the bento he'd bought for supper, got into his pyjamas, and got into bed with Yuki's uniform and his embroidering supplies.

"Hmm…what shall I embroider on his shirt? 'I luv Tohru 4evah?'Or… 'Kyo's hair is oh so soft?'"

Eventually he decided on a phrase and carefully sewed it into the back panel of the shirt. Grinning, he surveyed his work. "My nii-san is incredibly, amazingly, fantastically awesome. Is yours?"

-f-i-n-i-s-

Hurray for Aaya. Ritsu and Haru are the next two being posted. Review, please, and give me ideas of ideaness…

That's not even a word. Ah well.

Rin's turn is gonna be the hardest one to do. I can't do angst in this fic! Tis against the rules! Gasp!!

Flames are okay. Just try not to swear too much, or I may retaliate with a flame of my own. Muahaha.

In case you're wondering about the breaks, "Haru wa sokoni kite ita" means "Spring is here." I got it off of the Dnangel theme song. Yay!

-blake the psycho fangirl.


	4. Ritsu

Finally: Mondays- Ritsu's turn.

Yes, everyone has been waiting for this chapter to come up. I'm sorry for the delay- I was helping all last weekend with a ballet that my sister was in, plus studying for midterms (how I loathe midterms. What sick mind thought them up?!)- but now I actually have some free time. So I will please my readers by writing a new chapter.

Okay, I swore to myself I'd never do this. But I'm doing it. Please, please, _please_, if any of you guys out there (not implying you're guys, but…) have read or will read DNAngel, I beg of you, read and review Police Files. I'm coming to a standstill, and without reviews, my idea bank will dry up and I'll have to write a fanfic on the Cheetah Girls. (shudders) Oh, the horror. Well, I'm probably boring you with all this, but here goes. It's gonna be a good one, y'all!

-j-a-b-b-e-r-w-o-c-k-y-

Ritsu Sohma wasn't the calmest bundle of nerves. He wasn't the most gifted in the brain area, either. Yes, it's a mean fact. But it's true.

He groaned softly into his pillow and smacked the alarm clock.

And then realized what he'd done.

"OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRRRYYYYY!!!! IT'S MY FAULT FOR BEING GRUMPY IN THE MORNING, I NEVER MEANT ANY HARM TO YOU, ALARM CLOCK-SAN!!! I'M SO SSSOOOOOORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

After about five minutes of this insane yelling, he finally gained enough composure to get out of bed and get dressed in his usual furisode.

He tightened the sash until it was comfortably squeezing him, and then with a pang remembered.

He was giving himself a test today. Well, more accurately, Ayame was. His challenge to Ritsu was to have him:

Wear normal (not girl, but guy) clothes for the entire day; Not apologise to any inanimate objects; Eat soba with deep confidence; And, finally, the most difficult of all- not blaming himself for anything. 

It was a tough challenge for Ritsu.

Shivering slightly, he changed into a custom-made suit, tied his hair up, and schlepped down the stairs to the kitchen.

He put some water on, added oats, then spooned the resulting oatmeal into a bowl and sat down.

And stared at the oatmeal.

And stared some more.

He grabbed his spoon, and brought it towards the mush. It got ever closer, until the spoon was kissing the oatmeal…

Ritsu couldn't do it. He ran out the door and sprinted dementedly over to Ayame's house.

-f-e-l-i-z-n-a-v-i-d-a-d-

"Oh, my dear cousin! What horrible plight has possessed you to fly over to my humble abode like an insane drunkard fleeing the police?!"

"My…oatmeal…"

"Oh, dear. You need to stay with me for a while today, so we can together eat soba like loving cousins!"

Mine poked her head in. "Um, boss?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"The water's boiling."

Ritsu began to shake. "I…I…I…"

"What?"

"I'M SO SOOOORRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! THE POOR WATER, EVAPORATING WITHOUT ANYONE TO TAKE IT OFF THE HEAT!!!!! I'M SO SOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

"Tsk, tsk, Ritchan! You have violated the rules of our challenge! But have no fear! For I, being the number one in affection for my dear cousins, will give you another chance at completing this danger-fraught challenge!"

"The tea's ready," Mine shakily remarked, tiptoeing into the room.

Ritsu only continued to sob hysterically, something he was astonishingly good at.

-i-f-y-o-u-p-r-a-y-t-o-t-h-e-c-o-w-t-h-e-n-y-o-u-w-i-l-l-g-e-t-b-e-t-t-e-r-

"Now, my dear Ritchan," began Ayame, sweeping grandly into the stunned restaurant. They'd never seen anyone like him- dressed in a long purple-and-gold robe, with his hair braided magnificently. "Let us order our soba, and I will teach you the divine art of confidence!"

The staggered waitress tiptoed over to their table. "Good afternoon, what will you be having?"

"Both of us dear cousins will be having yakisoba, please. Could you also add some sukiyaki on the side, _mon cherie_?"

Taken aback, the waitress wordlessly nodded, writing the order on the slip of paper she held.

"Well, Ritsu? How are you feeling?"

"Uh…uh…I'm okay…"

Suddenly, with a crash that made the entire restaurant jump, a little kid dropped a glass.

"I…I…"

"Control yourself, Ritchan!"

But Ritsu had already gone past the critical point. "I'M SOOOORRRRYYYY!!!! MY PRESCENCE HORRIFIED YOU SO THAT YOU HAD TO DROP THE CUP!!!! I AM THE EVIL ONE!!!! PLLLEEEEAAASSEEE PUNNNNIISSSSHHHH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'M SO SOOOOOOOORRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"

The restaurant instantly became dead silent.

"Here's…here's your…your…soba," stammered the waitress.

The restaurateurs started to babble again, and soon the place was back to its former state.

"I will take no notice of that large and _terribly_ embarrassing spaz; instead, we shall eat our soba."

Aaya delicately took a noodle between his chopsticks, motioning Ritsu to do the same. "Come on, come on."

Ritsu gulped. He carefully squashed a noodle between the two sticks and looked up at Aaya. "Good. Now, stick it in your mouth, and think confident thoughts."

-s-e-m-i-c-o-l-o-n-s-a-r-e-s-e-x-y-

"Hullo, Ritsu," said Haru, standing bored by Shigure's house.

"Hi." replied the monkey, trying hard not to hyperventilate.

"What's with the guy clothes?" asked Shigure, poking his head outside.

Wrong question.

"I'M SOORRRYYYY!!! I'M BEING CHALLENGED BY AAYA TO BE MORE CONFIDENT!!!!! I'M SO PITIFULLLLL!!!! PLEASE CUT MY HEAD OFFF!!!! I'M SO SORRRRRREEEEYYYYYY!!!!"

"Oh, Ritchan. Relax."

"Hi, Ritchan-san!" chirped Tohru, coming out of the kitchen with Kyo, a faint blush on her cheeks. (a/n: I wonder what was going on in there…?)

"Hello," replied the monkey.

Yuki galloped downstairs and crashed straight into Kyo. "Hey, stupid cat, park your ass where it's not in the way, okay?"

"Such strong language, Yuki! You aught to be ashamed of yourself!!!"

Suddenly Tohru and Ritsu began competing to see who was at fault.

"I'm so sorry, Yuki! I was in Kyo's way, and-"

"NOOOOOO!!! IT'S MY FAULT!!! I WAS EATING SOBA WITH AYAME AND I'M SO HOORRRRIIIBBBLLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

"No, it's **my **fault!!! I'm sooooooooo sooooooooooooooooo…"

"Shut up."

"Oh, hi, Rin!"

Rin walked in fully. She was wearing a rather…um…_revealing_ dress that made Haru stare at her from the moment she walked in. Or maybe he'd just stare at her anyway...that's what he did. Anyway, Rin was now slightly pissed, a fact that was made no better by the fact that Ritsu was grovelling on the floor in front of her. "Get up," she ordered royally. "Come on, you've done nothing wrong."

"Yes, yes ma'am."

"Don't give me any of that 'yes ma'am' crap."

"Okay."

-k-w-a-n-z-i-k-a-h-

The day was almost over, and Ritsu, after a lovely dinner supplied by none other than the lovely Tohru, waved a hesitant goodbye to Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, Rin, and Haru, and set off.

He walked past a nice park, and decided to stay there a while, after buying a packet of honey-roasted peanuts from a friendly vendor. (a/n: do they sell peanuts in Japan?)

"Ah," he sighed, looking up at the stars from his perch on a park bench.

"Ritsu?" asked a voice, vaguely familiar.

He looked up. It was Mitchan, Shigure's editor, also (yes, he knew) slightly spastic. "Hello," he answered, aware that both of them were barely restraining the urge to spontaneously apologise.

There was a silence as she sat next to him, and soon they were talking, about trivial things at first, and then about Shigure and how evil he was, and how hard it was to walk around without apologizing to inanimate objects. Soon they were exchanging emails, and Ritsu realized that he'd just made a friend.

A rather pretty friend.

-y-o-u-d-e-s-e-r-v-e-i-t-

Ritsu fished the keys from out of his pocket and opened the door to his apartment. He walked in slowly, careful not to trip on anything. He caught sight of something on the countertop.

It was his bowl of forgotten oatmeal, now cold and squidgy.

He couldn't take it anymore. He'd not only worn _men's_ clothes for the entire day, he'd also eaten soba with deep confidence. _Confidence_, of all things. And he'd only spazzed a couple times.

So he thought he deserved a break.

"I'M SO SORRRRRRYYYYYY!!!!! I DIDN'T EAT YOU, POOOOOORRR OATMEAAAAAL!!!! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PUNISH ME FOR MY HOOOORRRIBLE SIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"

The old Ritsu was back.


	5. Haru

**So, yeah. I'm bored, so I'll add another chapter to this…I think I said that I'd do Haru next? Not sure…but this fic hasn't been updated in FOREVER. So here we go.**

**This chapter has been brought to you by the backspace key and Radiohead's album In Rainbows.**

-1-5-s-t-e-p-s-

Haru woke up, stared at the ceiling for approximately forty-five minutes, fell back asleep, woke up again, got the courage to swing his feet over the side of his bed, fell down, turned into a cow, poofed back into a human, got dressed, and remembered it was Monday.

He schlepped down the stairs slowly, hanging on to the banister so he wouldn't fall down and break his face. After he finally made the long, torturous journey, he still had to deal with breakfast.

Haru was vegan- he wouldn't eat beef, drink milk, or wear leather (all his "leather" clothes were very sophisticated fakes); so that kinda ruled out most breakfast options for him. So he decided to eat toast. "Yay, toast," he said to no one in particular, then laced up his boots and walked over to Shigure's house.

Or at least tried to.

After staring at the incomprehensible tourist map (which was written in English) for about fifteen minutes, his brain slowly grasped the fact that he was late for school. Which meant that someone would be mad.

So he commandeered a bicycle from a random street corner, and took off towards the school.

-b-o-d-y-s-n-a-t-c-h-e-r-s-

"Good morning, Haru!!"

"Nn."

Momiji carried on licking the lollipop that he'd been given by one of his classmates **(Note: All gutterminds, raise your hands now. –counts- Thank you. So much. Momiji's too innocent, man!)** and suddenly caught sight of Tohru walking along, smiling.

"Let's go see Tohru-kun!!" he chirped, dragging the cow behind him.

Haru was rather impassive, seeing as he'd gotten lost- again- trying to bike to school, and had almost given up when a fourth-grader told him directions. From there, he realized he was (1) reading the map upside-down, and (2) five kilometers off course.

"Morning!" said Yuki, closely flanked by the irksome Kakeru.

Haru perked up a little, going up to the rat and fixing his tie. "Hey."

"What's up?" asked the rat.

"The sky…"

Yuki sighed terribly and carried on. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Hnnn."

-n-u-d-e-

Class crawled by, not that Haru cared. He stared out the window, and suddenly became aware that the teacher had been calling his name for over five minutes. "SOHMA HATSUHARU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!"

Poor Haru had taken too much today, and he was somewhat happy to let himself snap. "Shut the hell up, you arrogant sunova…"

"How dare you speak like that to your sensei?!" yelled the teacher, red in the face.

Before Haru knew it, he was up at the desk, holding Sensei up by his shirt. "I'm…Having…A…Real…Bad…Day. Got it?!"

"SIT DOWN, SOHMA!!!"

It'd been a while since Haru was really mad, but right now, he knew he was teetering on the edge of breaking his sensei's face. So he threw him out the door.

Well, more like _through_ the door.

The class proceeded to stampede away like a herd of terrified koalas, and Haru proceeded to attack the various inanimate objects around the room.

Needless to say, by the time Yuki and Kyo got there, the room was a mess. But that's an understatement.

"Oh, no…" groaned the cat, slumping against the wall.

Suddenly Haru felt himself turning back into White Haru, and he straightened up, looked around, and walked out of the classroom. "I wreaked havoc, didn't I?"

Yuki was too shocked to answer.

-w-e-i-r-d-f-i-s-h-i-e-s-/-a-r-p-e-g-g-i-

"Oh, Haru, why must you torture me so?!"

"Sorry, Sensei. I snapped."

"Well, that's very obvious, my little cousin, but you have to learn how to control it."

"Really."

"Yes, really."

"Aaya's coming."

"WHY?!?"

"Because he's worried."

"…"

"GOOD EVENING, my lovable cousins whose beauty brings a tear to the heavens whenever they dare to show their face outside!!"

"Hey, Aaya."

Haru stood up. "Hey, Sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Can I use your phone?"

"Sure."

He walked over by the kitchen, from which delicious smells were emerging, lifted the phone, and dialed his number.

_Riiiiiing. Rinnnnnng. Riiiiiiiiing. You've reached Hatsuharu Sohma. Please leave your message (if you have one) after the beeeeeeeep. Woo._

"I have school at 8:30 tomorrow."

Click.

He said good-bye to Ayame, Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo, stuck his head in and said bye to Tohru, who was cooking happily in the kitchen, and walked home.

But knowing Haru, he didn't walk _directly_ home. He got lost again, and decided to buy some food at the grocery store he just happened to be standing by.

He picked some stuff up, and stuck it on the checkout counter. "Hi."

"Hi." Replied the clerk, ringing his stuff up.

Haru paid, and waited for his 25-cent change. None came. "Hey," he asked, "I need change."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you-"

SNAP.

"I'd like my twenty-effing-five-effing-cent change, _PLEASE._"

"What the hell?!?!"

Black Haru went on a rampage around the store, angry as heck, flirty as heck, and hot as heck. Finally, exhausted (and still without his change) he un-snapped and flicked a lettuce leaf off of his head.

"Here's your change," said the cashier, trying in vain to get some ketchup off of his uniform.

"Thanks." And with that, Haru took his groceries and left.

-h-o-u-s-e-o-f-c-a-r-d-s-

Another day had gone by, another little spot in the great caterpillar of Haru's life. Or that's how he thought of it; his metaphor was a little strange.

He ate, took a bath, changed into his pajamas (paisley-patterned) and did his homework grudgingly. And as he lay in bed, waiting to sleep, he thought to himself, _Today sucked._

Well, it was a Monday, after all…

-v-i-d-e-o-t-a-p-e-

Ta-daaa…

Review?


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